In the chapter “Gangsters”, Randy shoots Benji with a BB gun, leaving a BB stuck just above Benji’s eye. Benji decides not to see a doctor, but is then unable to remove the BB on his own. At the end of the chapter, Ben says,
It’s still there. Under the skin. It’s good for a story, something to shock people with after I’ve known them for years and feel a need to surprise them with the other boy… I asked a doctor about it once, about blood poisoning over time. He shook his head. Then he shrugged. “It hasn’t killed you yet” (159)
With Sag Harbor being semi-autobiographical, a natural thing to wonder after reading this section is whether or not the adult Colson Whitehead actually does have a BB stuck in his eye socket. In an interview for The New Yorker just before the publication of Sag Harbor, Whitehead was asked this very question. Although had he admitted earlier in the interview that the BB gun episode was real and “too stupid an escapade to leave out [of the novel]”, when asked specifically about the BB he says only, “don’t we all?” .
While frustratingly vague, this answer is in line with Benji’s transformation into Ben and how it ties to coming of age as a more general concept. The presence of the BB has no physical consequences for Benji. His parents don’t ever notice the scar, and his doctor seems pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. It’s only significance lies that it is physical proof for the older Ben that he and Benji (who he refers to as “the other boy”) are in fact the same person.
The gap between Ben and Benji is so wide that the reader, and in fact Ben himself, are unsure as to how Benji will grow up and become him. There is the sense that if Ben were somehow at the Labor Day Party at the end of the novel, Benji would never even consider him as a possibility when trying to spot his older self. We talked about this feeling as representative of coming of age in general. Someone mentioned that the amount of change that occurs makes it almost like the person you may be in ten years is someone else entirely who has just stolen your name and continued living as you. For Ben, who very much feels this way, the BB is a way to ground himself and realize that both selves are real--he can have been Benji, be Ben, and still become someone else entirely. Like Sag, the BB is simply a part of who he is, and at the same time something that forces him to acknowledge and embrace the paradox of his life.
If you want to read the full interview, here’s the URL: http://www.newyorker.com/the-new-yorker-blog/fiction-q-a-colson-whitehead
